long, but worth it :)

Kids are amazing!! About 6 months ago, as we were anticipating the referral for our baby girl, our 4 year old started talking about how he wanted a “6 year old girl.” We would tell him she wouldn’t be 6, she would be a baby like his other sister. When he would insist, we would reassure him that surely he wanted to be the oldest to which he would reply with something like, “It’s OK if she’s a girl.” (I guess he was fine as long as he was the oldest BOY). He probably only talked about it 4-5x in 6 months, but he didn’t forget and I didn’t forget. It stayed in my heart.

Well, after we got Little J’s referral, I would check our agency’s waiting child list to see if the two little girls who have been on there a while had been placed. You see, our agency is AWESOME and when there is a waiting child they often put the word out to us so we can find them a family. There are 2 sisters on there (ages 6 & 8, they are ADORABLE!, please email me if you think you have room for 2 more!). I had been praying for these girls hoping they had found a home. Well, on January 20th I looked at the waiting children list, and the sisters were still there. :( BUT there was a new little face, a new beautiful face, a 6 YEAR OLD GIRL!!! Hmmm (my heart sped up), what was God up to? Anything? Maybe not, but I called my agency right away to see if we could view her file. I LOVE her name, but can’t say it on here per Ethiopia law; therefore, we’ll call her “T.”

The first thing I noticed when I opened her file was that she came to the orphanage with Little J!!!! They both came from the same region on the same day!!! They took that journey together. I started shaking and got teary as soon as I saw that. I went right to my hubby. "Honey..." I said. He knew there was trouble. :) The next 10 days were filled with thoughts of her we could not ignore, but too much uncertainty that we couldn’t act. We prayed and searched our hearts. We did all the “What ifs”…EVERY last one of them!!!! And when I felt like she was our daughter, my hubby didn’t. And when he felt like she was our daughter, I didn’t. We didn’t know that we would ever get on the same page, but figured that would give us our answer. In the mean time I was praying for T to find her forever family and asking all my friends who were in Ethiopia to find out about her and Little J for me and send me updates. The first update I got had a subject line that read “update on YOUR GIRLS!!” and a line at the end that said “I say…go for it!!!” The second email (from a different friend) said, “T is amazing, and I cried when I left her. You ARE coming for 2, so just get used to the idea.” Don’t I have subtle friends?!? The third update came yesterday at 2:40am US time while I was still awake!!! My friend told me about why she cried when she left T. “I cried because I just thought she was a very special girl, and it hurt my heart to leave her….I really connected with her, and have several pics where she's just leaning on me, soaking up love. Just an awesome awesome girl.” OK, God was giving me all the reassurance I needed. And then, the hubby came to me yesterday and said, “I think we do it.” There we were, on the same page. With the thought of having a 6 year old, 4 year old, 2 year old, 1 year old, and 7 month old, somehow, we were not afraid. Imagine that!!! Only God could be in that! :) Hee, hee.

It wasn’t until this morning that I got up the guts to send the email to our agency coordinator to tell her. “WaaaaaHooooooo!!!” she said. We were concerned we could not pick up both girls at the same time at this point, at least without delay in picking up Little J, which we didn’t want. We had this email from our agency coordinator by this afternoon (mind you, it’s a weekend!!!):

“Well, I already heard back from Ethiopia!! If you had ANY question God's hand is in all of this, we can put it to rest! They applied to have Little J's file opened with the court last Monday, but someone was out of town and did not submit their paperwork, so opening it was delayed until tomorrow. Because of this T's file can be opened at the same time and your court date will be for TWO children, with no delay. Had they already applied for a court date, it would have been much more difficult…How cool is that?!?!”

I just read my friend’s blog (http://www.followingthewayhome.blogspot.com/) and really resonated with her words tonight:

“I obviously don't know what the future holds for my family. I don't know what joys and challenges lie before us. I look forward to times of inexpressible joy and happy tears. I expect times of grief and pain and mistakes. I don't have a guarantee that our transition will be smooth and that attachment will come easily. I'm not confident that we've got it all together and are fully prepared, because we don't, and we're not. But, I do know the Weaver. I know that He can weave something that seems confusing, messy and just-plain-hard into something of beauty. He's done it for me before, and I love when I catch glimpses of the front of the tapestry.”

God bless my awesome husband who is so full of faith and believes that together, we can do anything! God bless my children who are already proudly spreading the word of their “6 year old sister”! God bless all of my wonderful, supportive friends and family! (My parents and sisters are beyond thrilled with the news)! And God bless my TWO darling daughters in Ethiopia!!!