Miss Bear is here!

Wonderful news to report! I have been paralyzed in my blogging for a couple reasons. One, taking care of my busy household gone busier. Two, the events and emotions I have to report are difficult and maybe impossible to put into words. But I’m going to do my best in the minutes I have to fill you in. On Saturday, January 24 at 3:48am, we were blessed with the birth of our darling daughter, Miss Bear. 6 lbs.,12 oz., 19 1/2 inches. I got a call from K (the birthmother’s mother) at about 3:00am saying, “They’re doing an emergency C-section. You need to get to the hospital right away.” The adrenaline kicked in and was there for the next several days I think. We were at the hospital by 4:00, record time. C, the birthmom, requested the Dr. wait for my arrival to do the C-section. They tried to wait, but when the baby’s HR dropped to 90, they put C under general anesthesia and took the baby right away. Miss Bear had just gotten into the nursery when we arrived. Like from a movie, the waiting room was filled with young people, C’s friends, who had all left their partying downtown to support their friend’s childbirth. Some were sober, many not, but all were there with loving intentions for their dear friend. I knew many of them from the “pamper C” shower they had thrown for her 4 days earlier. The second we walked in C’s roommate yelled to the nurse, “These are the adoptive parents” and a nurse whisked us off to meet our daughter. She was under a heat lamp and absolutely beautiful. We adored her and Hubby went to check on C's status, as we were keeping her Mom up to date, who had an 8-hour drive ahead of her to reach her daughter and new grandchild. The next 4½ days were filled with all the social activities of a wedding and all the demands of caring for a newborn. Because I was breastfeeding, the hospital provided us with our own room and the staff was amazing. We had so many deeply loving, sad, exciting, humorous, touching moments with C and K and the other friends and family. It was exhausting and wonderful. These are the days I struggle to communicate to you. Two families came together with God in love for this darling child. I have never experienced one little life touching so many. God took over and He cared for all of us, allowing each of us to make sacrifices in our love for each other and for Miss Bear. What resulted was an amazing adoption story filled with many little stories of healing and loving. One person called it a “true love story.” We couldn’t wait to leave the hospital with our little girl, but the leaving was brutal. We didn’t want to say goodbye to C and K, with whom we had become so close. Leaving was dramatic and abrupt on the rainy day, and I would even say traumatic. We were sad on our drive home, and in true form, we got a loving phone call from K within an hour letting us know that they were OK. This helped us. She said she knew I wouldn’t enjoy my day because I would likely be worrying about them, so she wanted to call. She was taking care of me even in all she was experiencing. Mutual compassion and respect and faith in God – that’s how we all got through. I called them to notify them of Miss Bear’s Dr. appt the next day, as she was going to an orthopedist for hip dysplasia. I sent pictures of her in her little sling thing. Then God took over again. C’s Godmother was in town and they had the courage to ask if she could see the baby, saying many times “It is TOTALLY fine if you say no.” We were hoping they would ask. Although we feared C’s process of separating might “start over,” our guts told us it was the right thing for us. This was just what we all needed after the hospital departure. People say, “Doesn’t the contact make it harder?” C put it best, “Now it feels like a series of hellos rather than one goodbye.” It is easy for us to be open with them, as they so respect our boundaries and our roles as Miss Bear’s parents. I will write more as I digest it all. I am changed forever I think. God is great!